something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
