what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
