I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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