singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
