Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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