3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
