Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
