i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
