Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
