Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
