Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
