I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
