have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
