im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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