I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
