I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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