apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
