I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
be right there i have to get my cape
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
