So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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