Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
