If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
