I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
