omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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