and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
