I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
