well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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