Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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