you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
