I must be too annoying 4 u.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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