we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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