More tranny stories later!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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