I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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