I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
