Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
