I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There r osticjed everywhere
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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