Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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