I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
