So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
