that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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