I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
