I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Mom said you looked used
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
