Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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