i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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