Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
