why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
