Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
