He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
