We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
