You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I party with great urgency now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
