Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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