I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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