I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
